This is the journey of an average girl trying to lose weight and embarking on a new adventure. Everything you read and see posted from me is real. I wear my heart on my sleeve and make mistakes just like everyone! Everything on this page is just my opinion I do not claim to be an expert I am just giving my account of how I feel!
Are you like me that when you have exercised at least 3 times in one week that you feel like you should of dropped a dress size already? Do you feel that because you got off your butt and walked around the park for 20 minutes that you deserve to have that beautiful cream cake which was sitting in the bakers window? That’s ok if you are already at your goal or maintaining your weight, as I do believe you can have whatever you like in moderation, but if you have 4+ stone to lose like me I don’t think this way of thinking is quite right!
I do seriously have high expectations when it comes to weight loss or is it that I am really impatient? So far in the last few weeks I have attended 4 CrossFit classes, walked Virginia Water lake which is 4.7 miles, been swimming 5 times for 20 mins at a time so I think (in my pea sized warped brain) it is reasonable that when I put on my work trousers this week they should be starting to feel a little looser? What if I tell you that my trousers are not looser yet? Would you be secretly disappointed like me? I think sometimes I forget how long it took for the weight to go on yet I expect it to come off the second I start to exercise. The danger with expectations is that it has a direct link with your motivation. There are a lot of people out there struggling with their weight that start exercise plans do a couple of weeks expect to drop loads of pounds and inches and when they don’t, they give up! I have done this many times in the past, 60 minutes of legs, bums and tums and I think I have the god given right to walk out of that class with abs like J-Lo and legs like Cindy Crawford. Because I struggle with being overweight my effort and emotional stress level to commit to an exercise or class is probably much higher than someone of normal weight who regularly attends the gym therefore in my mind I feel like I deserve a bigger pat on the back when I have done it – the problem is that no one else cares and that also it is a misconception that just because someone weighs less than you that they don’t have trouble getting themselves to the gym, as we know for most of us the battle is in the mind not the body!
I often ask myself what it is I actually want to look like when I get to my goal?Well in my dreams it is Exhibit A but realistically it is Exhibit B (what I was before), in my opinion I could still do with a bit of shaving off here and there in that picture but basically I remember I was pretty happy with that weight and wearing a UK size 12-14. I do like having curves and being womanly but I do 100% admire Exhibit A who is a fitness model in the US, she used to weigh 200lbs and lost 80lbs to look like that, she is also a mother of 2, so although I see her body as a dream body who said it was not achievable?
Fashion has always been an interest of mine, I love watching the catwalk shows and reading Vogue (when I can afford it or someone leaves it behind on a train) I admire those who can put an outfit together effortlessly, one of my best friends always looks amazing even going to Tesco’s (Char – I love ya) and being slim helps! Retailers have started cottoning onto the larger ladies now and supplying nicer clothes which is about time as overweight people do have money to spend too you know, maybe retailers thought we spent it all on cakes and burgers! Even so, personally I prefer to reduce my size for a healthy future.
Do you ever hear people say “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”? I do a lot and would like to explore this a bit more. Firstly I would have to disagree with the taste bit – the person who wrote that had obviously not tasted a burger from The Gourmet Kitchen with chunky chips or eaten freshly made bread with melted Brie on (dare I say a Sausage and Egg McMuffin from McDonald's) note that it was quoted recently by a stick thin model who’s whole career depends on it!I am not totally sure what being skinny feels like, the closest I got to skinny was about age 8 where I could breath in really tightly and you could see my ribs – does that count?
I prefer to ask myself the question “How would I like to feel when I reach my goal?” maybe by asking this question it can help me really capture and visualise the end result.I would like to feel FREEDOM, freedom to go into my wardrobe and only not wear something because I was not feeling that colour that day rather than I can’t get the skirt over my shins let along my thighs! I would like to put on a nice pencil skirt and be able to move it all the way around my waist fully zipped! I would like to be able to decline an invitation to an event on the grounds of being double booked rather than because I have no idea what to wear or what out of all my plus sized clothes would be suitable – you can only jazz up a pair of black trousers so many times with scarves, shoes and handbags. I would like to wear an outfit without the need to hide behind a pillow when I sit down or hold a jacket in front of me when I go out. Photographed, I would like to be able to have a photo taken of me without taking 30 minutes beforehand of getting into the Liz Hurley foot forward pose and asking the photographer to stand up on a table or step ladder to take the picture from above (you don’t get a double chin then). I have missed out of loads of great photographs of me and my family due to feeling embarrassed about being heavier, when Josh grows up he will look back and think his dad gave birth to him (can u imagine?).
When you embark on a weight loss journey no-one ever tells you that potentially it could take you a year or so depending on how much you have to lose. Can you imagine joining Weight Watchers and their signs said "Lose weight in one Year" "Drop 80lbs in 600 days" it just does not look as good as "Lose 14lbs in 14 days" and what happens when you don't lose the 14lbs in 14 days? You either feel cheated and give up because you spent the last two weeks miserable or you feel like a failure and then switch to some other faddy diet. If we were to give ourselves more realistic mini goals like lose 5lbs in 14 days not only would we be more likely to achieve it but can you imagine the boost you would feel when you did. The fact that you said something and followed through (not literally)!
Losing weight is a commitment. It does not matter if you have ups and downs as we are all human and make mistakes. I reckon this journey for me will continue for the next year and then the next journey of maintaining my weight will continue forever after that. If I can manage my own expectations and are realistic with myself on how long it will take me to lose this weight then maybe that will stop me giving up. I find the more pressure I put on myself and the less time I give myself to lose weight the higher the chance I fail.
I feel you have to look at your history of weight loss and analyse why it did not work, for me its because I lose the weight quickly through fad diets and then think "I am ok now, I can eat bad again" for it to all pile back on and some. Maybe for some it is the fact that they really did not try hard enough and gave up because they gave themselves unrealistic goals.
So adding to what I have previously said in "Motivation" blog my formula is now growing: